[Verse 1]
I was a sexy little viper rune
In the corner of a King Tut tomb
When the hate train started
Goin’ “Choo-choo”

I was a rat on a burnin’ ship
And when we sunk, our fire got put out
It was just like the great plague
Just like the birth of underwear

[Chorus]
Hey dude, I hate everything you do
But I’m trying really hard to not hate you
Hating you won’t make you suck any less

[Verse 2]
I was a wheel in a war machine
Now I’m a toilet in a restaurant
Somebody’s gotta do it
I know my place

I was a baby-killin’ Cadillac
Now I’m a drug induced heart attack
Somebody’s gotta do it
I know my place

[Chorus]
Hey dude, I hate everything you do
But I’m trying really hard to not hate you
Hating you won’t make you suck any less

[Bridge]
Have you ever wanted to be
Have you ever wanted to see
Someone better
In the mirror?

Have you ever wanted to go
Have you ever wanted to know
Somewhere greener?
Somewhere cleaner?

I bet you’ve got somethin’ beautiful in mind

[Verse 3]
They’re gonna beat me till I’m black and blue
Give me a Kokopelli face tattoo
And I’ll tell you a secret
“Kreuz” is German for “Williams”

In the blood cult of the misled youth
I’ve got a bad case of the yellow flashlight blues
Let me tell you some weird shit
There’s gonna be a big old Civil War inside my house tonight

[Chorus]
Hey dude, I hate everything you do
But I’m trying really hard to not hate you ’cause
Hating you won’t make you suck any less
And hating you won’t make me suck any less
Hating you won’t make you suck any less